Me, Mary Poppins and Jesus

If you want to find out how selfish you really are, get married. Then have a lot of kids.

Since announcing the upcoming arrival of our 5th child, we have received a lot of feedback. Lots of sincere congratulations mixed with a lot of typical, mindless comments.

"Don't you know what causes that?"

"Are you ever going to stop?"

"Are you trying to beat the Duggars?"

But the one that continues to surprise me the most is...

"I just wouldn't have the patience for that"

Each time that comment is mentioned, there is an implication that I actually do, in fact, have the patience for it. I'll let you in on a secret: I don't. A lady who follows me on Instagram recently asked me "Your kids are always doing something, don't you ever just lose it?". The answer? Yes, yes I do.

I stay at home and homeschool our 4 kids...our 4 immature, uncivilized, impulsive, selfish, childish children. Anyone who has been around me and my kids for longer than an hour knows there is a lot of impatience. It's not surprising for my kids to dig in the refrigerator, spill a container of sour cream on the kitchen floor, leave pajamas strewn around the bathroom, unwind the toilet paper, pour a bowl of cereal bigger than they could ever eat, and drink juice boxes that they know are only for bringing on trips in the van. And they do it all before 9am. 

Like, I'm not kidding. They did ALL of those things THIS MORNING, before 9am. 

And, unfortunately, I wasn't born with a nature like Mary Poppins. Or Jesus.

As a mother with an inborn nature to sin, there are lots and lots of days when I can look at the situation in front of me and feel completely justified in my impatience. After all, my kids are immature, uncivilized, impulsive, selfish, and childish children. 

As a born-again Christian who strives to have the fruits of the spirit developed in me, I realize the problem isn't immature children. It isn't unacceptable when a 4 year old boy spills sour cream on the kitchen floor (at 7:30am). However, it is unacceptable for his mother to respond with anger and frustration. Patience is still one of the fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23).

I have multiple opportunities each day to lash out in easily justified frustration. I can also use those same opportunities to obey scripture's command, call my behavior what it actually is (sin), crucify my sin nature, and foster the fruits of the spirit.

There are many times I've had to apologize to my children for the way I spoke to them in my moments of anger or frustration. Like this afternoon, in the van when Abby was holding her hand over Beckham's mouth while he was trying to tell me something. I don't know why it made me so mad, but it did.

Everyday I have to remind myself that I am in control of my actions, and everyday I strive to be more like Mary Poppins. And Jesus.

I homeschool because I'm perfect.

We set our alarm for the crack of dawn. We eat a hot, wholesome breakfast and the kids get dressed in their freshly ironed uniforms (shoes polished!). Soon after our reading time (only the classics!), I start drilling the kids on spelling words so they can win the Scripps spelling bee. My kids know the periodic table of elements before their peers know the alphabet. Each day is filled with biology, trigonometry, latin, 漢語普通話, english, economics, and many hours of violin practice. My children only speak when spoken to, always clean their plates, and pray in their sleep. They're are completely perfect and the picture of humility at the same time.

Technology detox

Adam and I decided at the beginning of January we were going to try to reduce the amount of screen time we were consuming as a family. I deleted Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest from my phone. The kids kindles were put away. The tv was unplugged. A passcode was engaged on the iPad to keep tiny swipers from grabbing it off of their Dad's desk for an angry birds fix.

I'm not even going to try to lie and make myself look good here, I had no idea how much time I was wasting. I didn't realize how often my kids would pick up a tablet and zone out. I was oblivious as to how much sleep I was giving up to watch a documentary on Netflix after the kids went to bed.

This has been the longest month of my life. In more ways than one.

I have already read 4 books. I read a 350 page tell-all in less than 48 hours. My kids have used up two 96 count boxes of crayons. Beckham has amazingly started recognizing and reading words that I haven't specifically taught him. Abby has read 7 chapter books. Jonas plays with mixing bowls full of soapy water in the kitchen sink, baptizing all of his super heroes (that's a preacher's kid for you). They play board games, and when they get tired of playing board games they make up new rules. They all 3 spread out a blanket each morning for "Teacher Abby's exercise class". Legos....oh, the Legos.  And the month isn't over yet.

I was surprised at the amount of time the kids were spending with technology, but I am even more surprised at how quickly they forgot about it. They have gone for days without even mentioning their long time buddies, Phineas and Ferb.

I'll admit that this probably wasn't the best month to try a task this large. The weather has been horrendous bringing the worst winter storm central Illinois has seen in 20 years, with wind chills of -30. We can't go outside. Church has been cancelled on several occasions. We have cabin fever, bad. Just this afternoon Jonas brought me a watch and asked "Is it still January?".

The kids playing with snow in the bathtub. 

Abby and Beckham drew and cut out every character and weapon from Despicable Me 2

Kindergarten and quiet boxes

As a homeschooling mama I have to decide whether or not to start a formal kindergarten curriculum with Beckham this fall. He turned 5 last week, but I'm still nervous that he's too young. I'm 99% certain that I'm going to wait, and here's why:

Making peace with imperfection.

I was looking for a new book last weekend, and found one written by Jill Savage called "No more perfect moms". It's just what I needed.

10 pictures: Kids sleeping

10 Pictures: Jonas causing trouble

My Day In Pictures

We named him Alexander

When Adam and I got married, we knew we would have kids. More than a couple kids. Probably a bunch of kids. I got pregnant just a few months after our wedding, and it bothered a lot of people. They thought I was too young, and they thought it was too soon. But I was excited (thrilled!) and Adam was excited (nervous!).

A letter to Barack Obama

Dear Mr. President,

You recently stated that your wife didn’t have the “luxury” of staying at home and caring for your children. I disagree with you (don’t be shocked, this isn’t the first time it’s happened).

Following in my footsteps

I get tired of my kids doing annoying, impulsive, immature things. Abby is almost 7,  Beckham is 3 1/2, and today I decided that enough was enough.

Sleep: Solorio Style

If I have ever been good at one thing, it's sleeping. I am talented at both falling asleep, and staying asleep. Unfortunately, my kids don't possess the same great quality.

Three's a crowd

The Challenge: We have a 3 bedroom house, there are now 5 family members. Somebody is going to have to share their bedroom. My end goal is to have at least one baby-proof room for Jonas to crawl around and play in (right now there isn't one) and for all family members to keep their blood pressure below stroke level.

 Let me run through the possible scenarios:

Half Birthday!

Our happy, happy baby boy is 6 months old! He is so much fun to have in our home. Abby and Beckham both love him to pieces (which is funny, considering how much they dislike each other). He has been rolling for a few weeks now, and just in the last few days he has been sitting on his own. I wasn't emotionally prepared for how big he would look sitting by himself. 

Mommy Burnout...

Top five signs warning signs you are leading up to a mommy burnout:

1) Dozing off to sleep while waiting at a red light is the closest thing to a power nap you will get this month.
2) You immediately answer "NO!" to everything your child requests, because you are frustrated.
3) You immediately answer "YES!" to everything your child requests, because you are sick of whining and power struggles.
4) You dream of Dr. Dobson and Supernanny coming to your rescue, or Calgon actually taking you away.
5) You think hearing even one more knock-knock joke containing the word "poopy" in the punchline, will cause irreversible mental damage.

Bad Ideas

I've had a lot of bad ideas. One of my favorites was when Beckham was about a month old, and I had been awake for about 3 weeks straight (you think I'm exaggerating). I woke Adam up in the middle of the night to tell him I planned on blacking out all the windows in our house, keeping Beckham awake for 24-48 hours, and re-introducing him to daylight after I had "reset his clock". It sounded good at the time.

My Annoying/Amazing Husband

Adam and I have been married almost 8 years. After we had been married a couple of years, he started getting on my nerves. Really getting on my nerves. His super annoying habits were driving me crazy. Let me give you some examples:

Mother's Day

Eating Crow

Confession time. When Abby was born I made a lot of "I'll never let my kids...." and "My kids will always..." types of statements.  For 3 years and 3 months, I was on a mothering induced ego trip. Abby was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks, completely potty trained at 22 months, way advanced in memory, reasoning and vocabulary skills, and acted like an angel when I had her out in public. I was an awesomely awesome Mom.

Then Beckham was born.